You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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