STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
