sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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