This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
