Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Never joke about your clitoris.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
