yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
