I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
