just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
