The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
