I think my vagina is haunted
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
