Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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