8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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