I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
