My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
