There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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