Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize