no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
