I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
