that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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