good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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