Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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