bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
