Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
