Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
