He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
