margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
