Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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