I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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