In the future we'll all be gay
Screwed.edu
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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