Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She announced her abortion via fbk
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
