do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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