I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
