Plan B is the new Plan A
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
