Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The beer is more important than you right now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
