Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
