And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
