girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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