he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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