glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
