I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
