i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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