Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im having a threesome with these popsicles
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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