U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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