we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
