peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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