hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
