i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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