his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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