I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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