your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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