You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am available for nakedness
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
