Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
