ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize