Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
