I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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