no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
