It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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