JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Welp...herpes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
this hospital has no fireball
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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