Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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