yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
