C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize