I smell stomach acid.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
