At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
