I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
