Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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