Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
