Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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