YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize